And you are favourite Aunty, Aunty Pakistan!

Across the borders of Kashmir (which the countries share), there exists two countries, mind you, they were one long time ago, they are one still, comparing the mindsets of those who reside.

Aunty Pakistan, I agree with each word you say, err.. tweet. You have become a star today because every single word that you utter seems to be right. While your words reflect the depth of the problems that women of your country are facing, they are strikingly similar to their counterparts in my country.

For those who are not aware of who is Aunty Pakistan, here have a look at her Twitter handle. Just love your bio, “Peechay peechay aanda meri chaal wainda jayen... Main Aurat hon, Ornament nahi.” Could relate to you, Punjabis, you know, whether across borders doesn’t matter, Punjabis can always relate to each other – maybe muhfat but nothing but the truth.

So soon after the release of movie Phantom was banned in Pakistan (see, it’s not only in India where ban is popular – a similarity yet again), the reverent (pun intended) Pakistani Actor Faisal Qureshi’s outburst came in where he used the female identity as an insult. Here have a look at it:

“We are an insult, now let us redefine it,” thought Aunty Pakistan who soon became a sensation on Twitter with an awesome fan following, a sensation whom even Kaveree Bamzai wants to meet for chai/ shai. And why not, as Aunty India rightly says, “only aunties can bring peace” across the nations.

I had been recently admiring the slapstick humour of Mrs Funnybones but no sooner that I came across you, I was awe-struck. My sister says I am favourite of all the aunties and vice versa but to you I could only say two words – “Hats off”. Even AuntyAcid (another one of my favourite aunties, don’t know about her though), would be pleased to meet you, over a chai- shai of course, or my favourite cuppa of coffee! ;)  

Now that Buzzfeed and Scoopwhoop already have their listicles talking about you in order to get maximum likes, shares, favourites and retweets (all of which you deserve undoubtedly), here have a look at a few of your tweets that are my favourite.

By the way, loved the way you call my Aunty India, “My Didi”, with #SahelisForever like cherry on the cake.

My Didi, #AuntyIndia, wrote to me this beautiful letter inviting me to Chai in Delhi. Itna sara pyar. #SahelisForever http://t.co/tXpZKlagil

— Aunty Pakistan (@AuntyPakistan) September 2, 2015

Perfectly crafted that women are not objects.

Main chooriyan pehenti hon aur kutt bhi laga deti hon. Don't u dare define my personality by objects #AuratNotOrnament

— Aunty Pakistan (@AuntyPakistan) September 3, 2015

   On gender equality, one of the principles I firmly believe in.

"The correct opposite of patriarchy is not matriarchy. Its equality" - Kamla Bhasin

— Aunty Pakistan (@AuntyPakistan) September 3, 2015

Here to clean the house (love the puns)!

Aunty is on @Buzzfeed. Not here to just to become a trend. I am here to clean house! @sheikhimaan love u meri jaan. http://t.co/74rFEGq1Tg

— Aunty Pakistan (@AuntyPakistan) September 3, 2015

In the name of HONOUR.

3 women killed in Multan in an honorable way in name of honor by honorable man. Agar yeh hai honor toh hum aurtain bayghairat hee achi hain.

— Aunty Pakistan (@AuntyPakistan) September 3, 2015

While she speaks, people are getting educated.

@AuntyPakistan Love the way you are educating us; The privileged men of this patriarchal society. Your every tweet hits us hard. Thank You!

— Anayat Baig (@anayatbaig) September 3, 2015

Finally, practice rather than preaching!

Sirf Trend na Karo. #IzzatKaro https://t.co/tmfduqWIOc

— Aunty Pakistan (@AuntyPakistan) September 2, 2015

An imposing personality - Why it matters?

While one should always study the method of a great artist, one should never imitate his manner. The manner of an artist is essentially individual, the method of an artist is absolutely universal. The first personality, which no one should copy.

-          Oscar Wilde

There is a spark in each one of us. All it takes is the willingness and strength to ignite it. Each one of us is a unique individual in our own way. We meet so many people each day but there are a few who leave a deep impact, whom we remember amidst our jam-packed daily work routine. Why? Because of the simple reason; some people possess a great persona – a charisma beyond charm that baffles even the beautiful.

Being born beautiful is one thing, developing a scintillating personality is another. While we read a lot of tips on how to enhance your beauty, there are a few must haves that can help anyone to develop a striking personality. Let’s have a look at them.

-       The first and foremost one  – being you

It may sound a little philosophical but it is like the foundation. Never doubt your own self. Being a firm believer in yourself will help you go a long way in your life and become responsible enough for your life. Of course, there are errors that we all commit but the trick is to commit a new one every time.

-       Your body language says more than your words do

There is a non-verbal communication which is communicated through your gestures, face expressions, body postures and eye movements. Always carry yourself confidently with a correct straight body posture; while talking to someone, make proper eye contact; have a firm handshake. All these indicate confidence. During a conversation, your body language will show it to the other person when you are disinterested. Therefore, a great personality will always develop when your body language matches with your words that you speak.

-       Listen more and strike a meaning conversation

We all are very good at speaking. The problem is that we do not listen that much. Often, people who lay a deep impact on you are the ones who listen to you and listen attentively. They remember you and your words – be it your problem, your experience or a discussion you have had. And a meaningful conversation is always when there is a balance of speaking and listening.

-       Understand and empathise

Remember the last conversation you had with a friend where expressing your problem gave you the solution because she could put herself into your shoes. Yes, this is a must have whenever having a conversation, leaving a great impact of your empathising with him. Be courteous. People always remember courtesy.

-       Understand the difference between being confident and over-confident

There is a thin line that differentiates both of them which can make and break your career as well as your relationship. A little on the other side can ruin you. Always maintain that balance, be confident and rule the world; be overconfident and... 

-       Being introvert does not mean you do not have an impressive personality

While extroverts tend to gain their energy in social situations, introverts typically recharge through solitude. From Abraham Lincoln and Albert Einstein to Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and J.K. Rowling, all of them were introverts yet they are a league of impressive personalities till date. The reinstating fact here is again being your own self.  

-       Add a dash of sense of humour

Life is not that serious and even if it is, a good sense of humour is the best cure for it. Every time you find humour in a difficult situation, you will win. And yes, this is very important ingredient in the making of a remarkable personality.

 

'Scion of Ikshvaku': The Ramayana Reimagined

First appeared on Huffington Post 

Following an extended marketing campaign, the first book, Scion of Ikshvaku, of the new Ram Chandra series by author Amish Tripathi, was released on 22 June 2015. Building up to the much-anticipated mythological thriller by the author of the bestselling Shiva trilogy were full page newspaper ads, a dedicated website, exclusive Kindle offers and YouTube trailers.

Celebrity endorsements had also been seamlessly integrated into the marketing strategy, including a reading by Gul Panag, testimonials by Karan Johar and thelaunch of the book cover by Akshay Kumar. The post-promotion after the release of the book sees Kotak Mahindra Bank launching a themed debit card featuring the cover of Scion of Ikshvaku and a discount on any book purchased at Crossword. The bank also launched ''Tweet to Order'', where customers can order the book by simply tweeting #Book Scion 262.

So, does the book live up to the hoopla? I got my pre-ordered copy from Amazon on 23 June, and was not disappointed. The book is a rollercoaster ride taking readers through the familiar tropes and themes of Indian mythology, but with new twists and turns provided by the author. There is no doubt that Amish is a storyteller par excellence, and succeeds in surprising the readers with an age-old plot that he thickens with deep mystery and open-ended questions. You are forced to ponder over previously told stories and to engage with the question of how they apply in contemporary times.

Various adaptations of the Ramayana have emerged ever since Valmiki first told the tale. In general, there has been a proliferation of retold, reinterpreted epics and mythology. The Palace of Illusions by Chitra Divakaruni, Sita by Devdutt Pattanaik, the works of Ashwin Sanghi and Ashok Banker and so on have left the readers intrigued by the different interpretations of our age-old tales that we have been enchanted by since our childhood. Amish is arguably the most accomplished reteller of these tales with his riveting books that also provoke deep introspection into the myths as well as one's own self.

Here are some aspects of Scion of Ikshvaku that I believe make it stand out:

Twists on tradition

Amish excels at creating new stories from longstanding mythological tales. He veers from accepted versions at several junctures, making the book a surprising read - for example, he writes of the Swayamvar of Sita which is a borrowing from theSwayamvar of Draupadi in the Mahabharata.

"Manthara, who is generally depicted as poor, downtrodden maid serving Kaikeyi, is portrayed as the wealthiest businesswoman of Sapt Sindhu."

Strong character building

Shatrughan, the youngest brother of the Ram, has been fleshed out beautifully and is represented as a great intellectual. Manthara, who is generally depicted as poor, downtrodden maid serving Kaikeyi, is portrayed as the wealthiest businesswoman of Sapt Sindhu; her daughter Roshni is the rakhi sister of the four princes of Ayodhya. Ram, on the other hand, comes with far more baggage than the original epic. He is a neglected prince who has to bear the brunt of being born on the same day as his father Dashrath's defeat to Ravan at battle. Yet he is that law abider and protector, who will become a great leader setting an example for the others to follow. What we do see of Ram in this book is just a curtain raiser and his character is likely to develop further in subsequent books in the Ram Chandra series. It will be particularly interesting to read Amish's take on Ram's abandonment of Sita, but that's something we'll have to wait for.

Contemporary themes

The episode of the rape of Roshni and the punishment of her rapists reminded of theNirbhaya rape case of 2012. The parallels were hard to ignore: the main accused in the book, Dhenuka, was also a juvenile who could not be sentenced to death by law. The fictionalised version frustrated just as the real case had, although in the book we do have the satisfaction of seeing justice prevail, albeit outside the ambit of the law.

All in all, Amish's easy-to-read prose and page-turning style is a treat for those who like their reads to be fast-paced and sprinkled with Bollywood-style masala. And while this book, like the Shiva Trilogy (which apparently sold more than 2.5 million copies) may not qualify as a great piece of literature, it succeeds in provoking thought and encouraging conversations among readers.

How Women In India And The US Are Starkly Similar

First published on Huffington Post

"We need women at all levels, including the top, to change the dynamic, reshape the conversation, to make sure women's voices are heard and heeded, not overlooked and ignored." -- Sheryl Sandberg

As I started reading "Lean In - Women, Work And The Will To Lead" by Sheryl Sandberg, I realized that all those things that come in the way of a woman reaching the top, are quite similar irrespective of whether it is USA or India. Even in the US there is a dearth of women in the leadership roles. The part where Sheryl describes her own life's experiences made me realize that working women in India are also facing issues quite similar to what women from the 'developed' nation are facing. And if a nation like US is still struggling to fight gender stereotypes, India is bound to take far more time to change the status quo.

All these things struck me to the core especially after reading that more than 1,000 companies on the BSE and nearly 200 on the NSE had not complied with the directions given by Securities and Exchange Board of India (SEBI) for listed firms to appoint at least one woman director on their boards. These companies will now have to pay a hefty amount of fine because of this violation. What was supposed to be an exercise to promote gender diversity on boards became a 'tick-the-box' exercise for many companies who ended up appointing family members of promoters or well-known personalities. Interestingly, the Government itself has been lazy about compliance. Data revealed that 32 of the 180 NSE companies that had not complied were PSUs, where the Government is responsible for appointing directors.

According to the report by Ministry of Statistics and Programme Implementation, a total of 20.4% women were employed in the organized sector in 2010. The workforce participation rate of women in urban sector was 13.8 for women and 54.3 for men. While the statistics reveal a pitiful situation, there are a handful of women who actually exist at leadership levels. Part of the problem of what experts call a dearth of talent, is social and cultural issues in a country where women take bigger domestic responsibilities such as child care and caring for elders.

In the middle of the supercharged work environment where promoters push for fast growth, fostering a culture of overwork and aggressive competition, many women usually drop out of the workforce at junior and middle levels. This implies that there is a need for an effective director assessment process. Mid-career women with high potential should be identified at the firm-level, and adequate exposure and grooming need to be provided for such identified directors.

I am sad to say this, but most of the women are reticent and do not push themselves as aggressively as men. Here's an excerpt from the book highlighting this issue:

"The gender stereotypes introduced in childhood are reinforced throughout our lives and become self-fulfilling prophesies. Most leadership positions are held by men, so women don't expect to achieve them, and that becomes one of the reasons they don't."

How many families are there who really support a working woman who puts her career first? Most of the times, she is found juggling between her career and the household responsibilities that she has to fulfil. When she cannot deliver her best to both she is traumatised by the guilt of not being able to cope up. Sheryl rightly says that "Trying to do it all and expecting that it can be done exactly right is a recipe for disappointment. Perfection is the enemy." Maintaining the right balance at work and home, with the husbands also supporting at home, will bring in happiness in both personal, as well as, professional lives.

While women as a community need to come together and support each other, even men who support gender equality need to implement it in letter and spirit. There are many organizations that understand the needs of working women and accordingly provide them with additional facilities. Of course, the challenges will continue to exist and we need to fight against them so that there can be more Chanda Kochchars, Indira Nooyis, Kiran Majumdars, Naina Lal Kidwais, Sheryl Sandbergs in India. For every woman who will 'lean in' there will be many who will follow!

Breaking the Stereotypes !!!

3 Ads That Took On Gender Stereotypes And Won

First published on Huffington Post 

The past year saw a number of advertisements challenging the status quo and grappling with prevailing stereotypes.

One TV commercial (TVC) that garnered plenty of discussion and debate on social media was this Airtel ad, which took on traditional gender roles even as it showcased the capabilities of Airtel's smartphone network. The TVC featured an urban couple, working in the same organisation. The twist was that the woman was the boss, and was shown ordering her husband/subordinate to stay late at the office to complete an assignment. She is then shown heading back home, where she transforms into the 'traditional wife' who cooks and, over the phone, coaxes her husband to come home. Twitter was soon abuzz and the ad was also the subject of debate on a news channel's prime-time show - was the ad progressive or was the brand simply promoting cleverly disguised gender stereotypes?

Agnello Dias, co-founder and chief creative officer of Taproot India, the agency that conceptualised the campaign, had a ready rejoinder for critics: "I respect them but also disagree with them. True freedom is when a woman is free to decide exactly what she would like to do and how many roles SHE would like to play, one or three or five. It is really up to her and no one else." With which I absolutely agreed. The fact that the woman was cooking did not mean that she was a victim of social norms or regressive in some way. I believe that both the brand and the agency were courageous and did a commendable job in bringing non-traditional gender roles into the public arena.

The second commercial film I would like to mention here is the Titan Raga airport ad. Like the Airtel ad, this too highlighted the modern woman and also received mixed reactions. The TVC featured the female protagonist, who runs into an ex-boyfriend at an airport lounge and as they discuss their past, and what 'could have been', it is revealed why they separated. He wanted her to quit her job, to which she did not agree. With the Titan Raga watch on her wrist, she mentions that his mentality is still the same as it was when they separated. This ad was a nod to the modern confident woman who leads her life according to her own choices. She is a self-respecting, successful and independent woman who does not need to depend on a man. She enjoys her freedom - freedom of thought and freedom to lead her life the way she wants. Rajan Amba, global marketing and product head, watches and accessories division, Titan Company, when asked about this ad revealed that it reflects current trends and attitudes: "We did this because we needed to be relevant to the woman of today."

The third stand-out commercial on my list is Hyundai's 'Life is brilliant' ad. The first India-centric corporate film by the Korean auto giant gained over four million views on YouTube in just a few months. The film depicts a father who takes care of his son while his mother is working away from the family. The son, who is missing his mother, floats a paper boat in water and the next morning when he wakes up, he is pleased to see his mother at their home (brought back in record time courtesy a Hyundai vehicle of course). Even as it challenges stereotypes about the mother needing to be the primary caretaker of the family, the ad highlights how the family's bond remains deep and unthreatened by her physical distance.

Ads, like other forms of communications, play a very important role in breaking stereotypes and influencing the perceptions of people. Last year also saw a very interesting social experiment conducted by a website called Trulymadly.com. This group challenged the status quo, spoke to the boys and girls of Delhi and came across many people breaking stereotypes. It became a viral campaign, amassing thousands of followers on its Facebook page.

In a country where thousands of women do not have basic rights and control over their own lives and lifestyles, these courageous advertisements reveal that our society is really evolving. While we are getting entertained and emotionally influenced by commercials such as these, let us strive to make these media representations a reality and make the country a better place to live in.